Seriously though, where DO they do cock vajazzle?

One of the most fun things about having your own blog (if you’re a little bit geeky, anyway) is the stats section. There are counters for how many people read your blog each day, how many people share posts on Twitter or Facebook, but best of all is ‘Search Engine Terms’ where you find out what people typed into Google to find your blog. Most of them are pretty much what you’d expect (people searching for ‘Feminist Action Cambridge’, ‘abortion rights’ or ‘feminism and men’) but there are some special gems in there which I wanted to share with you all. Think of it as a very very late Christmas present.

My Top 5 Feminist Action Cambridge blog search terms

5. First off, to whoever searched for “porno and sexy women angirls.” – this blog was DEFINITELY not what you wanted. BUT, it may have been just what you needed… it particularly concerns me that you specified women and girls, this makes me wonder if you were looking for child porn, in other words images of children being raped. Anyway, I hope we managed to raise your consciousness in some way.

4. This is possibly slightly self-promoting, but I hope the people who searched for variations of ‘how to prevent rape’ were reassured by my post that it is not our responsibility as women to prevent rape, and that women who do experience rape are absolutely not to blame in any way no matter what they were doing, saying or wearing and no matter what their relationship with the rapist was or is.

3. “painting of woman with underwear visible” I’ve chosen this one because I’m intrigued by such a specific request. Particularly, why does it have to be a painting? Please come forward, visible-underwear-seeker, you will not be judged, just tell us what you were looking for and why.

2. E-R’s magnificent post on vajazzling has led to some pretty eccentric  search terms, and I’m very taken with ‘where do they do cock vajazzle’, ‘assjazzle’ and ‘who invented vaggazale?’ but feel I have to award second place to good old ‘vajazzle’ as it’s the second most searched-for term that leads people to this blog. Judging by the popularity of all these search terms, it seems glittery genitalia is definitely on the way in. One day unsparkly vaginas like mine will be viewed as disapprovingly as E-R’s hairy pits are today.

1. Finally ladies and gentlemen, first prize goes to someone who is worried about the important things in life. While some of us are fretting about trivia like ending violence against women and girls, defending abortion rights and demanding equal pay, thank goodness there was someone out there with the vision to ask what is perhaps the most urgent question for feminism in the 21st century *drumroll*: “does the rio wax take off all the hair around the cpenis and balls?” Feminists around the world must all drop everything and rush to solve this one immediately. We deserve the truth, sisters.

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4 Comments on “Seriously though, where DO they do cock vajazzle?”

  1. blueanna says:

    brilliant and hilarious! nice to think that people stumble on our blog after googling things… I will bear that in mind when writing future posts.

  2. KM says:

    Assjazzle?!! I will now spend the rest of the day trying to un-think that mental image. It’s just… wouldn’t that be really unhygienic? I’m just thinking that, after doing number 2, you’d end up with little bits of toilet paper caught in your assjazzles and STOP IT BRAIN STOP IT RIGHT NOW!

  3. E-R says:

    vagazzale… it sounds like a fashionable dip- guacamole? frijollemole? vagazzale anyone?


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