Worthless Guy Stuff part 2

Well here we go again everyone, I am so sick of blokes just going on about their trifling man paraphernalia and never letting me get a word in edgeways. Can’t they keep all their pointless dude-hobbies to themselves instead of gossiping about that shit all day like old men? God! Like WTF?! This is the kind of crap I’m talking about:

Gordon Ramsey having a complete hissy fit over some Quiches and swearing like an old trollope [which is really unattractive] and I’m like calm down princess!

Like OMG I hate to tell you this but cooking is not a real job, it’s something I expect my boyfriend to do for me when I get home every night from actual work.

And then there’s this:

Rudolf Nureyev prancing around on stage all day and night like a tease, tinkering with his little hobby and pretending it’s art

He just so obviously loves attention and praise- they all do. It’s like can’t I just have a beer and chill out without one of them trying to talk to me all the time?! And they are really vain and shallow like this guy:

Billy Brasfield wasting his time with eyeliner and lipstick, getting frantic about his ‘look’ for some catwalk show and fretting about Beyoncé and Lady GaGa’s makeup

And don’t even get me going on THIS! My boyfriend is all like ‘he’s a good role model for young guys’ and I’m all like ‘shut up, man, he’s got no self respect!’

David Bowie showing off his man-bits like a tart, thinking it’s going to get him famous

I mean, what must his wife think? That is so embarrassing for her, but I guess he doesn’t care about that! I feel sorry for him that he thinks he needs to sell his music by acting like a skank.

I swear, I’d like to just go back in time to when MEN WERE MEN you know?!

Everyone knows, since olden times, men are better at taking care of kids and teaching them morals, and if men don’t take on their responsibility and they get out of line then society will fall APART!!!!

Anyway I’m not saying they can’t have hobbies. Maybe on the weekend I’ll take my boyfriend out somewhere nice and he can look for a host-trolley or whatever, because they TOTALLY ALL love collecting antiques at fairs and shit like that and it means I don’t have to spend that much money on him. I just have to make sure he doesn’t get all overexcited.

David Dickinson prats about looking for doilies, all good fun until some guy looses a finger in a catfight over a victorian chamberpot

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